Apr. 28th, 2011

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Wow, it has been a long long time I'm not updating my dreamwidth account.
Today while I'm watching Glee, I just realized I miss my real life so much. I miss my friends, I miss my uni life, even I miss being scolded by my lecturers. But why did it happen so suddenly? Well, here's the story.
Last night, I was wandering around on the usual local forum, with my clone account (that's what we call there if you have 2 or more different accounts). Then when I showed my self to one of lounge there, it turned out I didn't get a warm welcome. Instead, I got humiliated by them. One of the user there said me stupid implicitly because I asked something regarding subbing matters. This week, I really want to do subbing and when I wanted to download the program, I saw many of links there. I'm a paranoid person, I admit that. I'm afraid if I download the wrong program, my notebook will become broken. So I asked which file I have to download to two users on that forum. One user is nice, well he has known me for ages now and he really is a nice person. And the other user, I just made him at the exclusive lounge there, and he's subber too, so I also asked him. But this other user, he seemed like thinking I'm so stupid even I didn't know which file I have to download. It's just the beginning.
Back to last night accident,
one of the user there told me "You can't read English? You don't understand English? You can read manual!" Woo so rude! And those other user too told him in implicit way that I'm so tupid even I don't know which file I had to download. Okay, that's it. I signed out from that forum right away, I was so pissed off even until now.
Then when I watched Glee, I suddenly want my to get back to my real life. And why is that? I have realized that cyber world is not real. I can get mad to those people I met on the internet, but I don't know him/her. And now I even realized that this is not real! Also, I'm too captivated in the idol worlds til I hate someone I haven't ever met. It sounds ridiculous.

I hope I can pull out all my braveness to get back to my uni life next month and hopefully the uni still give me a second chance. I don't wanna spend my whole life getting angry, get disappointed by people whom the face I even don't know. I really have to get back to my real life soon or else I'm getting more and more insane.

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